Are You Prejudiced?
I came across an article on prejudice today that was on my Facebook time-line. I was shocked at the treatment of a person because of the colour of their skin. The husband Samuel Kemble was so in love with his wife, he never realized she would be treated differently than him. I love that he saw the real her and looked past her ethnicity. If only everyone could do that. I realize of course that racial prejudice still exists in this day and and age, but for me it's never been an issue. Call me naive but I've always thought that we Canadians were better than that. We all have the same colour of blood after all so why should skin colour make a difference? Why should skin make a difference at all? My skin is not who I am, it's just a covering that holds what is inside me in place. Unfortunately, it does make a difference and it isn't just the colour of a person's skin that brings out the worst in some people, but it's the amount of it too.
As I read through the Facebook comments on the article, I was gratified to hear the indignation and disgust of how Samuel's wife was treated. But one comment stuck out at me, which got me thinking and brought me here to blog about it. The woman had remarked how she and a friend were at a park and saw a severely obese woman. Her friend remarked that she "would never let myself get that bad," which made the first woman start to think about how brave the obese woman was for walking around and not sitting in a scooter or a wheelchair, but was working to make her body work. She also remarked that it made her think about where the woman had come from, that she might have lost a whole lot of weight and might be proud of the fact that she could now get out of bed and walk around. I was glad that this person thought the best of the overweight woman. However, they inadvertently showed a prejudice to overweight people anyway that I'm sure she didn't even realize she had.
By stating that "she wasn't sitting in a scooter or a wheelchair" the woman implied that overweight people who resort to using scooters or wheelchairs are just lazy. And as someone who has had people say that to her face it reminded me again, how anti-fat bias in this country is something that is not only prevalent among medical professionals but it is also a readily accepted form of prejudice that is used against overweight people on a daily basis.
As someone who has a disease that makes me severely obese I am one of those people who has to sit in a scooter. Many times I've had unkind comments come my way that I am just lazy or had let myself go on purpose. Anti-fat bias and prejudice is just as common and real as the woman in this article experienced. It is socially acceptable to berate obese people, so much so that even governments have targeted obese people to lose weight - for cash! Others believe shaming a person to lose weight is the more appropriate attitude. When you read the comments on that article it is clear - targeting obese people is socially acceptable. But when is prejudice ever acceptable?
Why do people assume that overweight people eat too much or are lazy? Yes, some people do have no self-control, but clearly they have emotional issues that are causing their problems. No one eats to get fat on purpose! That is a ludicrous assumption and I for one am sick of people treating me like I "did this to myself."
I have stage 3 lipo-lymphedema which is two diseases - lipedema and lymphedema. The primary disease is lipedema. It is a painful fat disorder, that if left untreated, can cause multiple secondary problems like lymphedema and mobility issues. Thought to be hormonal in nature, lipedema is usually triggered at puberty but can worsen during (and after) pregnancies, peri-menopause, gynecological surgery or any surgery which includes anaesthesia. It can affect both the arms and the legs and usually presents itself in women with pear shaped bodies. It is an abnormal fat that is resistant to exercise and dieting.
At the time of my diagnosis I was on yet another diet (Jenny Craig) and had a gym membership that I used frequently. I have probably been on every diet known to mankind. As for exercise, I used my gym membership but also liked to swim, bike, golf and walk. Yet no matter how much exercise or dieting I did, I could never seem to lose weight below my waist. My legs were always huge at the top, as were my hips and it wasn't until my first pregnancy when I noticed they were both getting bigger. But the big change in my health didn't come until after a fall down a flight of stairs. This injury (unbeknownst to me) sped up my disease and my lymphatic system was compromised.
While on Jenny Craig I noticed the tissue in my legs (surrounding my knees) was getting bigger and incredibly hard. When I told my doctor he ignored me, insisting that I was making excuses for my size. My nutritionist at Jenny Craig, however began to measure my legs each week and not surprisingly discovered they were getting bigger, while the top half of me was getting smaller. I took this info to my doctor who again ignored me. At this point in time I also found myself in the hospital with frequent cases of a serious skin infection called cellulitis, until finally one day the doctor in the ER (who had seen me all too frequently) asked me why I wasn't getting my lymphedema treated. I looked at him like he'd grown two horns. Lymphedema? What's that? His shock at my lack of knowledge only grew when he realized my doctor had ignored what was apparent - my lymphatic system was shot (his words) and I needed immediate compression therapy and Manual Lymph Drainage to get it under control or I could end up in serious trouble. When I brought that news to my doctor he once again ignored me. That was the last day I saw him. I immediately went online to search for a lymphatic massage therapist and she informed me that I had waited too long and that I now had stage-3 lipo-lymphedema. This was a good news/bad news diagnosis. The good news was that all the dieting and exercising I'd done without seeing results, was not my fault. The bad news was that I was headed for a wheelchair. My lymphatic system was now shot because of the lipedema and I was devastated. If I had not experienced fat-bias from my doctor who kept insisting I wasn't trying hard enough to lose weight, I could have delayed the progression of this disease with compression therapies and would not be disabled today.
I tell you all this because anti-fat bias has to stop. It has to stop in the medical profession who all too often assume fat people don't have any self-control, when it is more likely they have an underlying disease. Approximately 17 million women in the U.S. alone have lipedema that is misdiagnosed as obesity. It is not their fault they are fat.
And that's the number one problem for people with obesity related diseases. They are shamed by strangers, doctors, the government, T.V., the diet industry and sometimes their own family, when in reality they are probably eating healthier than any of them because of years of dieting, trying to "fit in" to societies norms.
It all comes down to one disease really - prejudice and the assumptions that people make in regards to not only obese people but to people of all colours and races. It's just skin. Get over it. Because whether you like it or not - on the inside we are all the same.
12/24/2014 08:27:59 am
Brava, Laura. Excellent blog post. May all the prejudices stop, esp. the medical ones leading to grave harm of so many of us.
12/24/2014 09:18:42 am
Wow,Laura, this could be my story. I cannot tell you how many doctors I have seen who asked ME what was wrong with my legs! It was a stocking fitter who told me what was going on. I had assumed it was venous insufficiency until then, even though the doppler showed I only had it in my smaller leg. Turns out I don't have it at all. I have Lipedema that started at puberty, with Lymphedema that started in my thirties. I was 52 when I was diagnosed by a nurse practitioner. I still don't have a doctor who knows what is going on with it.
12/27/2014 06:48:03 am
Well stated Laura!!! Unfortunately many will never accept anything they have not experienced firsthand, themselves. Only our disease garners that type of response. No one ever tells a cancer patient they're imagining it...only us , fibromyalgia, & lupus patients get that unique response.
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