What Are You Living For?
This post has been a long time coming. I feel that I need to explain to those of you who read my blogs, where I have been and why. First, I haven't been writing. At all. As some of you know, I have stage 3 lipo-lymphedema which is a painful fat disorder that affects my lymphatic system. It has resulted in an increase of congested tissue that I have running down my leg from my knees to my ankles. This is also painful and makes my legs immobile. If I want to go out my husband literally has to move my legs for me to get me in the car. So, needless to say I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything right now. On top of that, I have severe arthritis that has affected my spine which is degenerating and I also have meralgia parasthetica, (caused by the congested tissue) which feels like someone has picked a hot poker out of the fire and is constantly stabbing me with it. So, that is what is going on with me right now.
Do I need prayer? Yes, please! I am constantly fighting off depression, have increased insomnia because of the pain, and writing has become a thing of the past. I desperately wanted to finish my Bible Study on Revelation that I was writing, but I simply can't do it - right now. I have every confidence that if God wants it written, it will be written at the right time and not before. God knows what I'm going through and He knows what I am capable of (or not capable of) right now.
In the meantime, I am able to keep Interviews & Reviews up and running and it is providing a creative outlet for me (of sorts) in the form of writing book and movie reviews. So I apologize to everyone who has been coming here and expecting more. More will come - I just don't know when.
That said, today I once again missed church because of all the stuff I'm going through, but the wonderful part is that I can still attend online. Today, on Resurrection Sunday, our Pastor talked about hope. A message I desperately needed because sometimes when you are dealing with constant pain and sickness you start to feel there is no hope in sight. It gets depressing when every day is the same. It gets lonely when you have no Christian fellowship. You start to feel you have no purpose and you wonder, "Why am I here, anyway? What is my purpose?" So I needed the reminder that I am not living for today, but for eternity. And everything I say and do will have an impact on where I spend my eternity and how I will spend it. This pain is for but a moment, but eternity - well . . . it's forever! And this blog of mine may not reach a lot of people, but I know it will reach someone who needs a word of encouragement today. I am writing and posting it only because of Jesus, who is my hope.
My Pastor shared this video by Francis Chan at church today. If you are experiencing a life that "seems" hopeless and without purpose, this might change your perspective a little bit. I know it lifted my heart.
Happy Resurrection Sunday!